It's been a while since I've been able to write. I've been so busy with school starting, and then of course I got sick. I'm always sick. It is horrible. I can't manage to stay healthy. I was diagnosed with bronchitis, strep throat, and an upper respiratory infection. I seriously felt like I was dying. The good news was that I didn't have to eat a lot and no one really asked any questions when I didn't. So, that part was nice. I managed to loose 4 pounds during that week. Good thing I gained two of it back as soon as I started to eat again. Damn body, why can't you just be perfect to start with. And, to make things worse, my boyfriend is going on a diet and now he is all obsessed with the way he looks and I'm worried that he will start looking at me again and wondering why he is looking better and I am not. I'm so ugly. Its not even fair. I just look around at all these skinny girls who don't even have to try and here I am counting each and every calorie and still gaining weight. What am I doing wrong? Am I missing some key point here? I don't get it.
Well, the school is doing this campus wide weight loss competition. I think I might join in. It's only 10 dollars. And now I won't get dirty looks when I say I'm on a diet or that I'm trying to loose weight because everyone will be doing the same. It will be nice, but also disheartening when I see everyone else achieve their goals so easily. Maybe I have to work out harder. Or maybe I have to cut down my calorie intake even more. Maybe I will only eat 300 calories instead of 500. Maybe that will be better.
Anyway, I am sitting here fighting the urge to eat an entire pan of brownies. I don't know why, but I'm craving them so much. I swear I could eat all the brownies in the entire world. They are my weakness. They can't be near me or I will scoff them down like the fat kid at a twinkie stand. Its pathetic really...
