Fattttt

I feel helpless. I look at this picture and a sick twisted voice inside my head tells me that I need to be that skinny. What? Why? Why can't I love who I am? But she always wins. That voice always wins. I didn't eat much today. Less than usual actually, but for some reason I gained a pound which ignited a fire inside of me. I worked so hard to be thin and it just comes right back. How is this fair? Why does this always happen to me. It doesn't matter if I eat or if I don't. Someone is always disappointed, and it is usually me. 

       I must think thin. I must hold on to that desired perfection above my cravings for donuts and eggos and cake and all things in chocolate. How can I want those things? They are just packed with horrible, mean, disgusting, conniving devils: empty calories. At the rate that I think about food I'll gain 9 more lbs. I wish I could just be naturally perfect. I hate that some people have it so easy. Here I am battling this stupid voice inside my head that tells me never to eat and some of my friends just eat whatever they want and are still skinnier than me. Its not fair. Ugh. I'm so fat.