Just another sleepless night.

I didn't sleep last night. I was too worried about everything. I belong to this online community for people struggling with depression and other mental health issues and my friend was trying to kill herself, so I stayed up with her all night trying to talk her out of it. It was sort of scary you know... that I was talking to her one minute and the next, if she wanted, she could be gone. I'm still in a daze from it all. I think she said she lives in CA, but I don't know. There are people on there from all over the world. I guess its a good site to talk to people who understand you, but then there are these coaches and health experts that pester you if you post something that is seemingly "harmful". So its good sometimes, but the minute you actually open up publicly about how you feel, you get attacked. Oh well. I'm glad that my friend is okay. 

Today, I'm going to focus on getting back on my diet. I have been so up and down lately that I'm not even sure if I know how to count calories. I ate ice cream last night. I'm so stupid. Well, at least that is one of the foods that come up easily if you mess up. So far today I've eaten exactly `13 blueberries and 7 grapes. Only about 20 calories. So, that's good. I think I'm going to be bored most of the day. The gyms are closed on Saturdays and my boyfriend works until 5pm. Well, at least he won't force feed me mac and cheese again....