Well, today, the boyfriend took me out for dinner. It was horrible. As soon as I walked in the sickening smell of deep fried greasy fat swelled up my nostrils. But, damn, I had to admit, it did smell good. Of course, I couldn't get away with just ordering a water... He's trying to force feed me into recovery. Ugh, whatever. So, I ended up ordering a bagel with cream cheese on the side. And that was the begging of my horrible binge. I demolished that bagel like I was one of those people in those food eating contests. I then persisted to stuff my fat face with some french fries (that he ordered for me, he knows they are my favorite... how could I have resisted?). And I couldn't just stop there, I had to dip those nasty little fat drenched crispy sticks into melted cheese. I can't even imagine the amount of calories I consumed on this outing. I wanted to die. But don't worry, I took care of those empty calories.... :/ I also ran about 3 miles. So even though that doesn't necessarily fix the problem, I hope it helps.
I love him. I really do. He is so good to me, he just doesn't understand my desire to loose a few pounds... you know... to be outrageously sexy for him... Wouldn't he like that? I think he might. Right now all he has to deal with is this fat lard of a cuddle buddy. Sometimes I wonder how he can even manage to put his arms around me. All that jiggly fat just mushing around under his hands. Yuck. Poor guy. I'm surprised he hasn't left me yet. He is a really nice guy though. I love him. I know its love because I cant ever stop thinking about him. As much as I think I obsess over my weight and eating, I think... maybe, just maybe, I might think about him as much if not more. Crazy right? I guess that happens when you fall in love. I just wish I could be better for him, though. But soon, soon I will be. I have no doubts.
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